As someone who is still adjusting to the vagaries of living in rural Indiana and who still doesn’t take kindly to being called a “Hoosier,” I thought these Indiana-isms, sent to us by friends and whose source is unknown, were pretty funny. They are funny because many of them are very, very true. In our two years here, we have experienced many of these. That’s scary!
If you are a Hoosier:
* You think the state bird is Larry.
* There’s actually a college near you named “Ball State.”
* Your feelings get hurt whenever someone points out the acronym for PurdueUniversity is PU.
* You’ve never met any celebrities.
* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
* “Vacation” means going to Indiana Beach or Holiday World (Santa Claus,IN).
* You know several people who have hit a deer.
* Down south to you means Kentucky.
* Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
* Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
* You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
* You’ve heard of Euchre, you know how to play Euchre, and you are the master of Euchre.
* You’ve seen a running car, with nobody in it, in the parking lot of the grocery store,no matter what time of year it is.
* You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s mycoat at?” or “If you go to the mall I wanna go with.”
* You install security lights in your house and garage, then leave both of themunlocked.
* You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad withmarshmallows.
* You carry jumper cables in your car regularly and your wife/girlfriend knows how touse them.
* You think nothing of it in spring and fall to be stuck behind a farm implement drivingon the roads. You just hope it’s not a hog truck or a manure spreader.
* High school basketball games draw bigger crowds on the weekend than movietheaters, IF you have a movie theater.
* Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
* Newspapers have international news & headlines on one page but requires six forlocal sports.
* You can repeat the scores of the last eight NBA games, but, unless the MVP is aHoosier, you are not sure who he is.
* You can see at least two basketball hoops from your yard.
* The biggest question of your youth was IU or Purdue.
* Indianapolis is the BIG CITY.
* Getting stuck by a train is a legitimate excuse for being late to school.
* You know several different definitions as to what a Hoosier really is.
* Everyone knows who the town cops are, where they live, and whether they’re athome or on duty.
* To you, tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece ofpork served on a bun with pickle.
* You’ve been to the covered bridge festival
* You have no problem spelling or pronouncing, Terre Haute
* You don’t know what a real pacer is but get upset if they lose
* People in your area REALLY like NASCAR.
* You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction.
* You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends in Indiana.
