Family Man Librarian

I see it’s been over a month since my last diary entry What can I say? I’ve been swamped. The semester is now in full swing at Taylor and hopefully things will settle down at work over the course of the next few weeks. We had a nice visit this weekend in V.G. with my side of the family. It is hard for me to go back there, though, because I am still struggling to come to terms with my father’s death, and I’m reminded of him so strongly when we visit. He was a deeply flawed man and made so many mistakes in his life. He wasn’t really there for me when I was growing up, since he was away much of the time selling farm equipment all over the state. But I still looked up to him and loved him. I know that he is with the Lord now, and I know that he knew how much all of his children loved him before he died. The last thing I told him when he was still conscious was that I loved him. But it is hard, still, to know that he is gone. It makes me realize how in some ways frightening is the power of a father. Now that I am a father, a role I dreamed about but never expected I would be blessed with, I think of how much of an impact I have and will have on my children for good or ill. A recent Bible study at our church focused on the following verse, which made a really big impression on me, and, I think, fits into the category of a life verse for me. It is about a man, Abram, who, like me, dreamed of being a father, but it seemed a completely impossible dream to him. God says to him in Genesis 15:1, “Do not be afraid Abram, I am your shield, your very great reward.”